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Not really broken, but time for a change

23200694_S.jpgOnce upon a time, when a couple divorced, it was often for "bad" reasons. There was adultery or some form of spousal abuse. Before the advent of no-fault divorce, many states required a showing of some "wrongdoing" on the part of the other spouse. At that time, people spoke, in hushed tones, of "broken marriages." In Missouri, and many states, that is no longer the case.

So, for some couples who have lived for decades together, there may come a time when they realize that they no longer seem to have much in common. Perhaps they both had jobs and developed separate interests. They may even have developed separate social circles. And the children are now adults and no longer live at home.

 

Often it is the wife who decides that while their life together is not terrible, she wants more. Women often want a greater degree of genuine emotional commitment, not merely someone who runs through the motions.

And because economically, many more women have had jobs or careers, they are not completely dependent on their husband's retirement or Social Security income.

With people living longer, some of these women look at their current marriage and realize they do not want to continue this for 30 years. And so, they don't. They contact a divorce attorney in Columbia and begin the process of starting over.

It can be scary and unsettling. But they don't want to die in their marriage, 30 years before they are buried. There are challenges. Finances for many "gray divorces" may not be as certain as during their marriage, but the experiences of life, of old hobbies and meeting new friends, can make up for some of that uncertainty.

Source: nytimes.com, "After Full Lives Together, More Older Couples Are Divorcing," Abby Ellin, October 30, 3025

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