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There are things worse than divorce

12283506_S.jpgThe potential effect of divorce on children causes many people here in Columbia to pause before they consider that legal solution. Various studies over the years have suggested some children of divorced parents may not do as well as those of non-divorced parents. This leads many to decry divorce as detrimental to children.


Of course, blanket statements, especially when dealing with something as varied as families and divorce, often fail to accurately describe all circumstances. For anyone who has grown up with parents who no longer get along very well or who may be on the verge of a complete breach, the idea that the children may be better off with separated parents may not seem very far-fetched. 


And that is borne out by a new survey of children of divorced or separated parents, which found that 82 percent felt it was better for their parents to separate than to maintain a façade of a marriage for the sake of the children.

The poll was probably so one sided because these children live with the uncomfortableness of two people whose relationship is failing and because of that failure, cause a great deal of stress and tension among those around them, mainly their children. And children, too, want their parents to be happy.

No one wants to live in a loveless marriage, let alone in one with open conflict and fighting. Even young children, who may not follow the structure of the arguments, can sense the bitterness and hostility that can be present in these relationships.

While divorce may not be ideal, it is superior to subjecting children to years of psychological stress. Better to recognize that the marriage did not work, and instead concentrate on raising the children in a civil and positive atmosphere, which may only be possible by separating the parents.

Source: theguardian.com, "Children of divorce: 82% rather parents separate than 'stay for the kids'," Owen Bowcott, November 22, 2015

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